Sometimes I open a Sunday newspaper and read about someone with a perfect house and a perfect career and a perfect life and …..it drives me mental!!! I think I screwed up, I dont have a perfect house! I don’t have a perfect life! Maybe I am doing it all wrong? Maybe I made all the wrong moves? I asked the angels what they think…
I feel like I have done it all wrong! And I think I am still doing it all wrong. Other people have the stuff that I really want to have and I worry that I have been on completely the wrong track my whole life and I have fucked it up and I wont get the stuff I want. I especially worry that I wont get to have a house of my own that I love because I haven’t got a proper job and I am too old now to get a mortgage, even if I did have a proper job. I read about other people having these perfect lives and I get really upset and depressed because I haven’t a clue how to go about getting the stuff that I want.
I don’t know if you can help me?
A
May we first of all say that we feel your pain? We feel your sadness and your confusion and frustration and we wish you to know this.
We wish you to know that you are not alone in feeling this. We appreciate that it may be of little comfort to you to know that we feel it because of course we have no houses or similar things to not have got and therefore it is not so easy for us to identify with the thoughts that you are having.
It may be of more comfort to you to know that there are many many millions of people like you in your world who also feel upset and frustrated because they do not have the houses that they want or the lives that they want.
And many of you have been told that you should be grateful for what you do have and that you should not want these things that you do not have. You have even been told that you will lower your vibrations by thinking about the things that you do not have.
For those of you on a ‘spiritual path’ this can be disconcerting at best and frightening at worst this worry that you want things and you feel bad about not having them but you are not allowed to feel this way!
You try to force yourselves to feel good and to feel gratitude, but as you can see, this does not always work! The part of you who longs to have more cannot remain buried in your psyche for ever. And the more that you tell yourself that you are wrong to think these thoughts, the worse you feel when they do present themselves!
It is no accident that you have been feeling particularly upset about the not having of things just at this moment in time. For you have a marvellous opportunity at this juncture to shine a light on these thoughts and feelings and to welcome them into the universal compassion and the eternal love of the universe in which you live and of which you have been created.
When you can begin to see your thoughts and desires and your wishes and wants and your feelings (be they of gratitude or be they of frustration) as being all without exception manifestations of the greater universe, you will begin to loosen your grip on them. That is to say you will begin to realise that these feelings and these thoughts of wanting and of not having are not actually you, the greater you.
They are simply a part of your experience. They are even a necessary part of your experience. These feelings of lack and of longing be they for a house, a car, a job, money, a partner, a child, friends, whatever they are for…these feelings are not your enemy.
These feelings are what drives you to try to get these things and it is this drive to achieve and acquire that causes you to explore the nature of your universe. Some of you actually acquire and achieve all of the things on your shopping lists.
As you tick off the items, you realise that having them does not necessarily give you the sense of completion, of satisfaction and of bliss that you suspected it would. At this stage, you begin to explore other avenues. In your case, you were born knowing that none of these things that you speak of would give you what you were ultimately seeking. And so you pursued them only half heartedly! Some of them you acquired, some of them you dismissed. You will no doubt agree with us when we say this?
Me
That seems to be true. I have never been able to really commit to the pursuit of things like having a house and a mortgage and a steady income, much as it annoys me at times.
A
If you have not pursued these goals, what have you pursued?
Me
I have always been more interested in what lies at the heart of it all. What is creating these things, the ultimate truth, perhaps. The meaning of life!
A
And so, having devoted your time to exploring these areas, what have you uncovered?
Me
Well, I suppose the main thing that I have discovered is this ability to talk to you and to feel you.
A
And what is the benefit of this, in comparison with having accumulated the things that you mentioned?
Me
You are always here. I didn’t need to get any particular stuff to find you, you can talk to me anywhere, on trains, in cafes, in the park, in a hospital, on a plane, in my garden shed.
A
And what might be the benefit of talking to us?
Me
When I talk to you, I feel different. I feel as if nothing else matters, I feel as if I have everything that I need and that everything is as it should be. I am not chasing anything. I feel fully alive and fully committed to the conversation and to being here and now and not worrying about what I haven’t done or achieved or what I should be having or achieving. It is weirdly peaceful. I almost feel that the people who have all the houses and cars and great jobs and beautiful stuff are part of something that I am also part of. So I don’t feel left out. But this feeling doesn’t necessarily last! As soon as I open a Sunday newspaper and look at pictures of people with their perfect houses I go mental again!!!
A
And so, as you sit here now, you are not ‘going mental”?
Me
No. I am not going mental. I feel good.
A
Do you ever wonder what it is that causes this change in you? Do you ever wonder why it is that you can go from ‘going mental’ to feeling at peace and at ease in this way?
Me
Yes. I do wonder. I mean, I teach other people to do this, but that doesn’t mean that I fully understand it. I just teach them what I do.
A
And what is it that you do? What do you teach people to do?
Me
I first of all notice when something is upsetting me and making me feel frustrated or whatever. Then I deliberately write to you and tell you what is happening and how it makes me feel and I ask you for help. And then I wait. That is all I do. Then you talk to me.
A
And why do you suppose we talk to you? Where do we come from? Who are we?
Me
I don’t know!!! You just do.
A
If you were to hazard a guess at who we are and where we come from, what might you say?
Me
My sense is that you are actually a part of me, even though you always answer me in the plural. You always say ‘we’. But I don’t feel as if you are different to me, or distant from me when you speak. I feel as if you are inside me and and as if you were inside me all along. Am I right in thinking this? Or am I wrong?
A
Do you have any doubt that we are a part of you?
Me
The thing that makes me doubt it sometimes and the thing that confuses me about it is that you are so very wise and so eloquent and your approach to my problems is so sophisticated and gentle and so subtle! You never come at me with a sledge hammer and tell me what I am doing wrong, you never tell me what to do. You always guide me very gently until I actually see it for myself. This amazes me every time. And you speak to me very quickly, you never hesitate. You dictate sentences to me, but I never know in advance what the next word will be, I only discover the complete sentence when you have finished it, so I cant second guess you with my logic. I never know what you are going to say! How can you be a part of me if I never know what you are going to say?
A
Aha! This is quite useful, is it not? This ability to surprise!
Me
Yes because I have to stay focussed, I am intrigued! I cant drift off!
A
And yet, we can still be a part of you. Do you know anything about creativity?
Me
I know a little bit about creativity.
A
What do you know about it?
Me
I know that when I am being creative it surprise me and it excites me because I never know what is coming next. I feel as if the stuff is coming through me, but I am not making it happen.
A
If you are curious about where we come from, we would encourage you to experiment more with your own creativity. When you open yourself to creativity, you also open yourself to what we like to call ‘universal consciousness’. What this really means is that you open yourself to the greater you, the part of you who is connected to everything that ever was and ever will be. You open yourself to the wisdom of your own soul, who has an overview of your life and of your challenges. And your own soul loves you beyond any kid of love that you can comprehend. Your soul cherishes you in every way. And your soul can gently guide you in any situation, so that you see for yourself what is happening and where it is leading you.
Me
Does that mean that this thing that I have been talking to is really my own soul? It is not angels?
A
You have accessed the angelic realm as a bridge to accessing your own soul. Think of the angels as guides who serve your evolution by showering you with love and with their joyful peaceful vibrations, whenever you think of them. They have been able to soothe your own sometimes choppy emotional waters and allow your mind to see beyond what troubles you, they have allowed your mind to relax, so that you can access the smooth, serene and tranquil waters below the surface!
Me
So just to clarify, the angels have helped me to contact my own soul? But I call it my angel self?
A
Yes, and yes you do call it your angel self. As you think of the word ‘angel self’ you are reminded of this energy of angels that has soothed you. Perhaps the word ‘soul’ does not feel as good to you?
Me
I don’t know. I suppose you are right. The word soul has too many weird connotations like ‘troubled souls’ or ‘lost souls’ or even ‘soul music’! It confuses me and it doesn’t have the same effect as the words ‘angel self’.
A
Indeed! You are entitled to use whatever words work for you, and whatever ideas and concepts work for you. Some people prefer ‘God’ or ‘Allah’ or ‘Buddha’ or ‘Jesus’ or ‘Higher Power’ or ‘Higher Self’ or ‘Universe’. Whatever takes you to a place of compassionate wisdom and allows you to feel good, that is your choice! Ultimately, it does not matter what means you use!
